VATICAN CITY – The Vatican hosted a five-day conference to discuss the possibility of alienlife!
The Catholic Church invited astronomers, physicists and other scientific experts to Vatican Cityto discuss astrobiology – the study of the origin of life and its possible existence in the universe.
Reverend Jose Gabriel Funes, director of the Vatican Observatory, said, “the questions of life’s origins and of whether life exists elsewhere in the universe are very suitable and deserve serious consideration”.
The discovery of alien life would have a significant impact on creationism and God’s nature.
Thirty scientists, Catholics and non-Catholics, came from across the world to attend the summit. Chris Impey, an astronomy professor from the University of Arizona, said he had not problem with the Vatican hosting it.
“Both science and religion posit life as a special outcome of a vast and mostly inhospitable universe,” Impey said. “There is a rich middle ground for dialogue between the practitioners of astrobiology and those who seek to understand the meaning of our existence in a biological universe.”
Reverend Fumes said alien life would not contradict the Catholic faith. “Just as there is a multitude of creatures on Earth, there could be other beings, even intelligent ones, created by God. This does not contradict our faith, because we cannot put limits on God’s creative freedom.”
The Vatican has considered the issue in the past, hosting a similar event in 2005.
ROSWELL HAUNTED BY ALIEN GHOST
ROSWELL, NM – “Since that thing returned, it’s been one terrifying encounter after another,” said Col. Mike Andrews. “Most of our test pilots are requesting transfers and the civilian contractors are refusing to come to work.”
‘That thing,’ according to Col. Andrews, is the ghost of an ET who died sixty-two years ago.
As readers of Weekly World News are aware, in the summer of 1947 a UFO crashed northwest of Roswell, NM. The military acted quickly to recover the wreckage. Along with three small, otherwordly bodies recovered at the scene, it was flown to various government installations. Despite a military cover story that was concocted to explain away the event, witnesses insist that it was a flying saucer and that an autopsy on one of the space men was conducted at Roswell.
Nor further visitations occurred in the decades following the crash. That changed this year.
“That saucer man is back,” said Col. Andrews with a shudder, “though not in any way we ever anticipated.
“This time, he’s a ghost!”
escribed as short with an oversized head, the unearthly being floats from room to room, passing through walls and ceilings as if they weren’t there. Work at the base has all but shut down as manpower has dwindled to a skeleton crew, though not everyone fears the eerie visitor.
“I don’t think he means any harm,” stated Gus Rolf, a midnight-shift cook. “In fact, he came in and helped me peel potatoes one night and sorta zig-zagged out the door just before daylight. We tried to strike up a conversation, but he don’t speak English and I don’t speak Martian, or whatever lingo he was chirpin’ in.”
The prevailing theory is that the ET ghost continues to be angry about having been poked, prodded and cut open during the medical exam.
“He has returned now because the alignment of the planets is identical to the way it was when the saucer crashed,” opined Walt Shelstad, a UFO investigator. “I believe he’s searching for the people who abused him. Like so many spirits, without closure he cannot return to his corner of the sky, to a proper alien afterlife. I believe he’ll leave when the planets change their positions.”
“I hope so,” said Col. Andrews. “Nobody things church rites will work on an ET, but I still may call in an exorcist. I don’t know what else to do.”
Until a solution is found, the base remains relatively deserted. “In every sense of the word, this place is a ghost town,” said Col. Andrews.
